I never learned to drive stick. Depending on who you ask, I’ve never learned to drive at all. Quick example, within the first year of me driving, we had to buy new tires for just the two front wheels of my car as I had worn down the tread from taking my turns too quickly. Let’s just say my parents were not too happy with me.
This theme of “moving too fast” goes across the board that is my entire existence. I’m not the kind of person to move slowly, I either gun the engine or don’t move at all. I can crank out a 6 page essay in an hour and a half right as it’s assigned, or let it sit there until the last second (when I usually crank it out in an hour and a half at 2 am). I can call looking for summer jobs all morning in March, but stare at the open tab on my computer marking the actual application until I actually start typing stuff in mere days before I head home from college. This same thing goes for reaching out to new people, to forming relationships (both platonic and romantic), to competing in sports, to writing a blog post. (I made this blog over a week ago. Have I posted anything? Nope. Not til now, when I should be writing a final essay).
I’ve discovered that this is all due to a lack of motivation, a lack of drive in my life (no pun intended). I have all the tools I need, I just can’t always make that spark that turns things around (pun very much intended).
Right now, I’m facing another shift in my life. I can’t speed my way through this or plans and people will fall to the wayside. I can’t sit and let everything happen to me, or I’ll get stuck while everything else moves ahead. So, my goal right now is to take it slowly while keeping busy. Maybe I’ll start doing more DIY projects like I want to, maybe I’ll have time to see friends and take road trips, maybe I’ll form strong professional relationships in a job that I am going to apply for, and maybe I’ll keep up this blog.
I won’t make any promises, but I will try. That’s gotta add up to something!
I need to figure out a way to sign off on a post. I’m sure I’ll figure it out eventually.
barely abigail 