I love HGTV. As a kid, I never watched Spongebob. Instead, I’d tune into Home and Garden Television (because that’s normal for a 7-year-old).
I watched just about everything on HGTV, including the annual dream homes, HGTV’s Design Star and Design Challenge featuring pre-Bachelor Chris Harrison. However, my true HGTV love was House Hunters. Suzanne Whang was my first role model, and since those years, my love for this domestic version of reality television has only grown. Now that I’m old enough to potentially own a house, I dream of the day where House Hunters would put me on their show so I could be the whiny, rude client of every real estate agent’s dreams.
To make this happen, I’m going to channel the 2006 film “The Secret” and will this event into reality by sharing my application with you!
Name:
Abbie
Address:
123 INeedAHouse Rd.
City:
Please
State:
TY
Phone:
HOME-NOW-PLS
Email:
barelyabigail@gmail.com
Where are you moving to (City, State)?
A Cool Place, Denial
Occupation:
Whatever will get me on ur show 😉
Single or Married:
Omg back off I have a boyfriend
Age:
22
Do you work for the government?
I’ll never tell
Do you own or rent?
I survive
What is the style of your current home (modern, Spanish, traditional, etc.)? Please explain what that style means for you (give as many details as you can).
If I had to describe my current place, I’d call it “bad” or “not good”. It’s cylindrical, which is nice if you’re into that. Overall, it just kinda stinks.
Are there any special features about your current home?
It has an easily removable tin roof making it prone to backwards burglary.
Who is in your household?
My grouch of a roommate.
Why do you want to move?
bc this
get it???? I live in a TRASH CAN.
Because my jokes are TRASH
When do you plan to move? Have you made an offer?
I hope to move ASAP as possible. I’ve made an offer of $6 and a fro-yo punch card (with ONE punch left) because it’s all I had in my wallet and they countered by laughing. What does that mean? Pls help
Description of the style and features you would like to buy in a home:
I love a craftsman style home, with lots of character/charm. I’m looking for a pool, a walk-in closet, lots of natural light, hardwoods throughout and plenty of room for my one hundered doggos.
And finally, please attach a picture of yourself / yourselves.
The above information is true and accurate (required).
Sure.
There you have it, my House Hunters application! If you’re interested in applying or filling out a bunch for me, here’s the link.
(Also, I’m not apologizing for the Sesame Street reference, I watched that as a kid too, y’all, I’m not a monster.)
Wish me luck and bear with me,
Abbie
barely abigail 